you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
