The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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