direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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