also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
