ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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