just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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