Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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