Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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