I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
