Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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