return my video game
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Houston, we have a squirter
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
