He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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