Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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