So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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