thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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