I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
