Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
