Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
