Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
