ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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