God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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