yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
