I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
