dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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