So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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