who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am naked and annoyed.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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