When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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