Just fell off a train. Bad.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
