Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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