By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
