I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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