I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I had to cum in my sink.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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