My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
