It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
