Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
