I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
