I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
