If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
