Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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