I think my fart just growled at me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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