so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
