we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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