Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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