Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
