I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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