1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
