her vagine was all disorganized.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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