Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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