They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
