do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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